What can I say? At least I didn't increase the subscription rate.
However, I did just come across this 1967 video which forecasts the coming of the Internet Age. It's almost spooky in its accuracy.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Monday, March 23, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
News of the weird (and the clumsy)
Man falls down same cliff twice:
Via The Daily What.
George Stastny tripped on a narrow footpath and fell down a 20ft cliff as he was enjoying a stroll in the Teesdale Valley, close to his home in Whorlton, near Barnard Castle in County Durham.
His fall was broken by rocks and trees, but the 66-year-old broke his nose and injured his back.
He was still conscious, so his wife, Mary, managed to drag him back to the top of the cliff, where he eventually passed out.
Without a mobile phone, Mrs Stastny, 53, decided to run for help, leaving her husband safely away from the cliff.
But as she turned away, he stood up, fainted again, and fell back down the cliff.
[snip]
"I turned around to see him stand up and to my horror, he fell down again. He fell right down the cliff to where he was before.
"There were these awful noises coming from him, there were all sorts of moans and groans," the landscape gardener said.
[snip]
"He felt fine," Mrs Stastny said. "He said he woke up and thought: 'I've seen this branch before'.
Via The Daily What.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Price of Love
I have often remarked that, if I could do it all over again, I should have been an economics major. I was the curve-setter in my micro-econ class and ended up with over 100% for the semester. And my interest in the topic has continued far beyond my college years. In fact, I may be one of the few living Americans (human beings??) who has watched an entire session of (former CBO Director) Douglas Holtz-Eakin's testimony to a session of Congress live on C-SPAN.
Talk about your riveting drama. I mean who could take their eyes off this guy when he's discussing the deadweight cost of proposed tax legislation? (Notice the gritty stubble mildly evoking the Don Johnson-Miami Vice look, but sans the pastel-hued linen sportcoat to maintain an aura of gravitas.)
(Douglas Holtz-Eakin)
In any case, had I followed this potential lifepath, not only might I have had the chance to hang out with Doug (or Holtzie-E as he's known on "the street"), but it is possible that I could have more efficiently won the affections of my lovely wife through the use of love ballads such as the one noted below.
I mean, what woman could withhold her heart when courted with the likes of this:
"Girl Your Marginal Benefits" (listen here)
Now girl being with you has always been so tough
With each passing minute your marginal cost goes up
But my love is inelastic and it all belongs to you
I'm the only love producer and my good is for you to consume
Cause girl your marginal benefits far outweigh your marginal costs
Without our equilibrium baby well you know I'd be lost
Trapped inside this market I need you to buy my love
Girl without your complementing goods well I'm just not enough
Now you say that I'm producing below my ATC
But I'm optimizing quantity baby, why can't you see?
We could share this surplus each and every day
If you would just buy my love I'd make my fixed costs go away
Baby I want to keep you for the long run (Oh yeah)
I think our supply and demand will become one
Cause girl your marginal benefits far outweigh your marginal costs
Without our equilibrium baby well you know I'd be lost
Long run equilibrium is no place for me
I need the profits of our love to grow exponentially
Courtesy of Greg Mankiw.
Talk about your riveting drama. I mean who could take their eyes off this guy when he's discussing the deadweight cost of proposed tax legislation? (Notice the gritty stubble mildly evoking the Don Johnson-Miami Vice look, but sans the pastel-hued linen sportcoat to maintain an aura of gravitas.)
(Douglas Holtz-Eakin)
In any case, had I followed this potential lifepath, not only might I have had the chance to hang out with Doug (or Holtzie-E as he's known on "the street"), but it is possible that I could have more efficiently won the affections of my lovely wife through the use of love ballads such as the one noted below.
I mean, what woman could withhold her heart when courted with the likes of this:
"Girl Your Marginal Benefits" (listen here)
Now girl being with you has always been so tough
With each passing minute your marginal cost goes up
But my love is inelastic and it all belongs to you
I'm the only love producer and my good is for you to consume
Cause girl your marginal benefits far outweigh your marginal costs
Without our equilibrium baby well you know I'd be lost
Trapped inside this market I need you to buy my love
Girl without your complementing goods well I'm just not enough
Now you say that I'm producing below my ATC
But I'm optimizing quantity baby, why can't you see?
We could share this surplus each and every day
If you would just buy my love I'd make my fixed costs go away
Baby I want to keep you for the long run (Oh yeah)
I think our supply and demand will become one
Cause girl your marginal benefits far outweigh your marginal costs
Without our equilibrium baby well you know I'd be lost
Long run equilibrium is no place for me
I need the profits of our love to grow exponentially
Courtesy of Greg Mankiw.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Quote of the Day: "Hey Howard, there's your Chinaman."
On a related note, NPR's All Things Considered reviews the cultural legacy of The Donger:
"Every single Asian dude who went to high school or junior high during the era of John Hughes movies was called 'Donger,'" says Martin Wong.
Wong and Eric Nakamura co-founded the magazine Giant Robot, which covers Asian and Asian-American pop culture.
"If you're being called Long Duk Dong," Wong explains, "you're comic relief amongst a sea of people unlike you."
Worse, says Nakamura: "You're being portrayed as a guy who just came off a boat and who's out of control. It's like every bad stereotype possible, loaded into one character."
Nakamura and Wong say that before "The Donger" came along, they got called "Bruce Lee" at school. That wasn't so bad: At least Lee, the martial-arts star, could kick ass. Sixteen Candles stole even that limited pleasure — and Asian-American guys focused their frustration on the actor who played Long Duk Dong. After all, he was one of them: born in the U.S.A.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Can I speak to Little Miss Muffet in Accounts Receivable?
Alice posted this link previously to her FB page, but to any who missed it at the time, this one had me ROFL as they say: Man tries to pay bill with spider drawing.
The part where he asks her if she is sure this is the same drawing just slays me.
[Blogger meta-note: Maybe this post seems a bit like filler (since it was previously linked to as I note above), but I am on a 1 -post-a-day pace for February, and so on the final kick down the homestretch, if I can't think of anything smart to say, you will just have to live with rehashed arachnid comedy.]
The part where he asks her if she is sure this is the same drawing just slays me.
[Blogger meta-note: Maybe this post seems a bit like filler (since it was previously linked to as I note above), but I am on a 1 -post-a-day pace for February, and so on the final kick down the homestretch, if I can't think of anything smart to say, you will just have to live with rehashed arachnid comedy.]
Monday, February 23, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Quote of the Day: "Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity..."
Store Clerk: I can get the part from Bristol. It'll take two weeks, here's your pomade.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Two weeks? That don't do me no good.
Store Clerk: Nearest Ford auto man is Bristol.
Ulysses Everett McGill: [examining pomade] Hold on, I don't want this pomade. I want Dapper Dan.
Store Clerk: I don't carry Dapper Dan, I carry Fop.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I don't want Fop, g**damn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
Store Clerk: Watch your language, young feller, this is a public market. Now if you want Dapper Dan, I can order it for you. I'll have it in a couple of weeks.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Two weeks? That don't do me no good.
Store Clerk: Nearest Ford auto man is Bristol.
Ulysses Everett McGill: [examining pomade] Hold on, I don't want this pomade. I want Dapper Dan.
Store Clerk: I don't carry Dapper Dan, I carry Fop.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, I don't want Fop, g**damn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!
Store Clerk: Watch your language, young feller, this is a public market. Now if you want Dapper Dan, I can order it for you. I'll have it in a couple of weeks.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Quote of the Day: "And, it worked for my family..."
Christy Cummings: It's interesting, we have kind of a family dynamic going on here which pretty much mirrors what I grew up with, I'm the daddy figure, the taskmaster, the disciplinarian.
Sherri Ann Cabot: [nodding to Christy] Mr. Punishment over here.
Christy Cummings: Oh, but I also reward, and Sherri Ann is responsible for the unconditional love.
Sherri Ann Cabot: And the decorative ability.
Christy Cummings: She's the heart and the soul, which was what my mom did, that was her role, she was there for the unconditional love. And, it worked for my family, you know... until my mom committed suicide in '81.
Sherri Ann Cabot: [nodding to Christy] Mr. Punishment over here.
Christy Cummings: Oh, but I also reward, and Sherri Ann is responsible for the unconditional love.
Sherri Ann Cabot: And the decorative ability.
Christy Cummings: She's the heart and the soul, which was what my mom did, that was her role, she was there for the unconditional love. And, it worked for my family, you know... until my mom committed suicide in '81.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Quote of the Day: "You're being very un-Dude."
The Dude: [answering phone] Dude.
Nihilist: [on the phone] Who is this?
The Dude: Dude. The bag man, man. Where do you want us to go?
Nihilist: Us?
The Dude: Sh*t! Uh. Yeah, uh. Me and, uh, the driver. I'm not handling the money, driving the car and talking on the phone all at the same time.
Nihilist: Shut the f*** up.
Walter Sobchak: Dude, are you f***ing this up?
Nihilist: Who the f*** is that?
The Dude: That is the driver.
[Nihilist hangs up]
The Dude: Sh*t! Walter, you f***... you f***ed it up! You f***ed it up! Her life was in our hands, man!
Walter Sobchak: Nothing is f***ed here, Dude. Come on, you're being very un-Dude. They'll call back.
Nihilist: [on the phone] Who is this?
The Dude: Dude. The bag man, man. Where do you want us to go?
Nihilist: Us?
The Dude: Sh*t! Uh. Yeah, uh. Me and, uh, the driver. I'm not handling the money, driving the car and talking on the phone all at the same time.
Nihilist: Shut the f*** up.
Walter Sobchak: Dude, are you f***ing this up?
Nihilist: Who the f*** is that?
The Dude: That is the driver.
[Nihilist hangs up]
The Dude: Sh*t! Walter, you f***... you f***ed it up! You f***ed it up! Her life was in our hands, man!
Walter Sobchak: Nothing is f***ed here, Dude. Come on, you're being very un-Dude. They'll call back.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Quote of the Day: "From Moses to Sandy Koufax..."
Walter Sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death...
The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even f***ing Jewish, man.
Walter Sobchak: What the f*** are you talkin' about?
The Dude: Man, you're f***ing Polish Catholic...
Walter Sobchak: What the f*** are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Walter Sobchak: And you know this!
The Dude: Yeah, and five f***ing years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?
The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her f***ing dog. Going to her f***ing synagogue. You're living in the f***ing past.
Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax... [shouting] You're g**damn right I'm living in the f***ing past!
The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even f***ing Jewish, man.
Walter Sobchak: What the f*** are you talkin' about?
The Dude: Man, you're f***ing Polish Catholic...
Walter Sobchak: What the f*** are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Walter Sobchak: And you know this!
The Dude: Yeah, and five f***ing years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?
The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her f***ing dog. Going to her f***ing synagogue. You're living in the f***ing past.
Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax... [shouting] You're g**damn right I'm living in the f***ing past!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
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